Amazon Cartel raises money for kitchen utensils and ammo

Hope, a seeker cultist, provided popcorn at the auction

By Bolero News Services

AMAZON -- The Amazon Cartel got into the auction business this week, selling off four slaves to help support their love of cooking and shooting people.

“Cartel needs all kinds of new weapons and we consume a lot of ammo. The right hand of [the] general needs the latest kitchen machinery as well,” said Tyven Gazelle, a member of this faction.

The four items auctioned

General Boluss, leader Amazon Cartel, gave a short introduction before four “items” were actioned for sale. These included Lucien, a grey-maned gentleman, and Shae Eros, a native chieftess. The Cartel also auctioned Diana Fawcett and Paula.

Chieftess Eros fetched the highest bid, at 9000 Amazon coins, from a man named Sif, who proclaimed the chieftess innocent of any wrongdoing.

"She did nothing! Someone is going to pay for this!" Sif warned.

"Maybe let her work on cleaning up from the fire and oil spill. I'm sure her tribe will help her," Hope, a popcorn-loving seeker, suggested.

Gazelle said she was pleased with the turnout for the event and how much it raised. The Amazon Cartel is planning further auctions in November.