Monks threaten food shortage if people don't start fucking more!

Tantrica prepares the sacrifice
Photos by Persephone Bolero

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AMAZON — The Monks of the Amazon have put us on notice. If you want to eat, you better spend more time between the sheets.

People of the Amazon were summoned yesterday to Gallivant's Clearing, where Tantrica, a seeker, tied a native man named Paco to a cross. Paco was naked, and it was unclear if Tantrica had removed his clothes or, like so many natives, he just just didn’t bother to wear any.

Whatever the case, as Tantrica stroked the man’s enormous manhood, she made a dire announcement.

"Here is the deal! Until we seekers see a lot more fucking — a lot more! — humping and a lot less shitty hugging love dovey…there will be no meat at all!” Tantrica bellowed as Paco writhed on the cross.

“More fucking, less hugging,” Maccus, a Monk, put it more succinctly.

Trantrica blamed the dearth of sexual activity on wholesome men who approach sex like the Amazon is a 1950s Bible camp and not an untamed, exotic, lawless wilderness where we are free to satisfy our most savage lusts. 

Cheered on by Maccus, Tantrica demanded men act with more assertiveness in seeking attention from females.

“Some so-called men of the jungle are whiney, and on top of that, they have forgotten what is their real purpose in life!” the seeker said.

It did not appear that Paco spoke English, so as the warning was delivered, he seemed confused. However, as sex is the primary universal language, he was responsive to the hand job the seeker was giving him.

In an effort to protect the food supply of the jungle, Mayor Persephone Bolero bravely stepped forth to ravage the bound native man and help feed the hungry people of the Amazon.

"Persephone is amazing," said one admirer in the crowd, probably. 

Various reports from hunters around the Amazon suggest that chickens, a jungle staple, are indeed becoming scarce. So, it would appear the Monks are making good on their threats.

How much sex will be required before the food supply will return to normal is unclear. Hopefully, as bellies empty, more couples will fuck their way into the Monks’ hearts and ensure that our pots are filled with chickens and crocodiles a plenty.