Cleansing ritual seeks to purify Red Coast Resort

Whispering Wind and her magical herbs
Photos by Persephone Bolero

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Bolero News Services

AMAZON — Can a curse be lifted by painting, dancing, and fucking? That’s what Eve and Dylan Heartsong, owners of the Red Coast Resort, are hoping.

For years now, the resort in the Red Republic of South America has been the premiere luxury destination for tourists and those seeking a break from the misery, disease, and discomfort of the undeveloped natural environment in the rainforest.

However, in the past couple months, the resort has been plagued by pest problems, conflicts with natives, vandalism, and crime.

Svengali Merlin prays with a Monopoly piece on his head

Hopes and wishes
The Heartsongs believe that the resort is cursed. So rather than call an exterminator who would use effective pesticides, the hoteliers decided primitive rituals would work better.

On Sunday, Whispering Wind, shaman of the Tapirape, and her husband, Catten Carter, painted symbols on people and crushed some random leaves together. The native couple spoke prayers as the crowd danced through the resort.

“Salt of earth, guard this place, keep it safe and all within by Earth power the curse is gone,” Whispering chanted, which surely sent mice fleeing.

Whispering said that the ritual would remove “very evil spirits” that hinder and block her blessings. 

Mr. Yami provides a percussion section to the ritual

Sexy stones
Eve Heartsong is also hoping the ritual will somehow ward off vandalism problems. She accuses a neighbor, HarleyQuinn Static Mckay, of putting raw sewage in the pool. Mckay insists the problems are caused by plumbing.

Whatever the case, the resort thought shamans would be more effective than plumbers and security guards.

The Tapirape shamans also left behind painted stones. These are supposed to keep evil spirits away or something.

People wishing to help cleans the resort of its negative energy are asked to have sex near the stones, as that will help maintain their cleansing power by pushing away negative energy. 

Evil spirits are literally shaking right now

Building trust
The resort has been attempting to manage wildlife in the Red Republic. Hunting has greatly disrupted ecosystems in the area, and natives are one of the largest groups thinning animal populations. The Red Republic began requiring licenses, but the natives were entirely uncooperative with the conservation program.

Speaking prior to the ritual, Eve Heartsong said the problem is the natives see these modern ecological efforts as trampling on their beliefs and cultures. Hoping to forge better understanding with the primitive populations, the resort will only require non-native hunters to get a license. The hope is this will at least help conserve animal populations until the natives can better understand the need for sustainable hunting practices.

Whether these diplomatic responses and primitive rituals will address the resort’s problems is yet to be seen, but the people of the Red Republic are optimistic.

Eve Heartsong dances her problems away