ARSON MOST FOUL! LOCAL GROUP DECLARES WAR!

The Amazon River News was struck a foul, under-handed blow today when the News Office itself was firebombed. Fortunately, the presses and operating equipment were saved with little to no damage other than some soot. The same could not be said, however, for the editor's case of single-malt whisky; seven bottles of The Famous Grouse were destroyed in the blaze, which also consumed a handful of books on journalism and a framed and autographed picture of the Prime Monk himself, Maccus.

Evidence left at the scene readily implicated the Taino, who left this message:

We burn you down to the ground, your paper is useless, and you are so damn lazy.

Maybe next time get off your ass and ask questions, publish facts rather than your one-sided opinion.
Since you need your information stated simple for your simple brain to understand - the village of invaders was burned, not the jungle. 

If this needs to be made more simple, let us know, and we can write a children's book for you.,

Guess who

The wrath of Taino

This is the second time the Taino arsonists have struck Libertad. An interview with a source who wished to remain anonymous but claimed to be close to the Taino leadership had this to say:

"We of the Taino have declared war upon the imperialist invaders. All vestiges of the white invaders must be destroyed, or the Taino will continue to rain fire down on the heads of those who insist upon grovelling at the feet of the invaders. Our warriors are without peer, the least of which is greater even than the much-touted Lestat himself. We already drove off the Assassins, proof that our power exceeds that claimed by the Monks.

We demand that the invader village known as Libertad be destroyed to the ground. The Policia Amazonia shall be disbanded, and its members held accountable for their crimes against honest, gods-fearing natives. The trading consortium known as SALT must either leave the Amazon or face our wrath. All motorized boats are to be destroyed in order to make the rivers pure again for canoes and rafts. All artificial aircraft are likewise to be destroyed. Any mercenary groups or factions that try to move into the Amazon are to be driven out with blood and fire." 

At this point the Taino spokesman's mouth had become so frothed that his assistant declared the interview (such as it was) to be over, and threatened the entire staff of the Amazon River News with "death by curare darts" if the Taino's demands were not published and put into place immediately. 

It was interesting to realize that the Taino demands did not include any action to be taken against the Resort. Does this mean that the Resort is in league with the Taino? Or was the Taino representative so addlepated that he forgot the largest single non-native presence here in the Amazon? Be assured that the Amazon River News will continue following this story to its conclusion.

✎Written by ARN Editor Sven